Sunday, June 17, 2012

Been a Long Time

So I have a million blog posts running around in my head, but no motivation to write them...B, I hope you don't hold it agains me when you get older, as I still want to leave you a complete chronicle of your first year. That said, I have more than a few updates that I hope to at least get out over the next week or so.

B's 8 month updates are coming first, followed by an update on our move and new house and our transition to our current time and space.

All is going very well though and I am just constantly amazed at these two little boys. I won't mention the COMPLETE meltdown that J had literally ALL DAY yesterday though. Let's just leave that in the past.

So I guess the whole father's day thing has brought me to blog today. I can't stomach facebook right now with all my friends posting the obligatory picture of their dad while taking some time to publically extoll praises. Yeah, I get it. I just sit and wonder how many realize and cherish what a gift their fathers are. I just really want to be able to hug my dad or pick up the phone to hear his voice. And now that we are in the same city, I would give anything to have him in my life and teaching my boys all the stuff he knows. I would have loved more than anything for him to see, hold and love baby B like only he would. But I won't get that chance and for lack of a better way to explain it, it just plain sucks. Two plus years later, I still don't understand why he's not here. I still have a hard time accepting his death and I still find myself mixed with anger and sadness daily. Uhhhhh! I am thankful for friends like Amina and Kristy who traveled this path before me, LaShara who walks with me and Katoiya as she's going through all the "firsts" without her dad. I just find it so tough to celebrate life sometimes when I'm still in the midst of mourning.

At the same time, I put on a happy face today and try to keep the tears at bay. After all, I do celebrate big J and the dad he is to my boys. I appreciate what he is to me and to them. He does an amazing job with the boys and steps up more than most. One look at the boys and their interaction with him and you know that he's their hero. Though I could do with a little less wrestling in the house, I know that he's perfect for them :)

So I guess I'm back to blogging so to speak. Let me see if I can get things going this week.

Thanks for hanging in there with me!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Two Special Days

B, yesterday you turned 7 months old! Bitter sweet cause now you are closer to a year old than you are to a newborn. Of course, it continues to be amazing watching you grow and come into your own.

Today, we celebrate mother's fifth as a mother and first as a mother of two. On this day, I am reminded on how blessed I am, how amazing it is to watch both of my boys grow and thrive. The sleepless nights and sometimes stressful days...I wouldn't trade them for anything. I am more than blessed to be called your mommy!

As for B, here are some updates on your 7th month:

-Your personality is starting to show big time. You are still a charmer and will laugh and smile, your smile lights up the room. But if you are not impressed by something, around strangers or just trying to figure something out, you remain stoic and puzzled. It's cute though.

-You have two teeth on the bottom and I think one is trying to cut through on the top.

-You can now get up on all fours and rock back and forth. You want to just take off so badly, but you haven't put it all together yet. Selfishly, I am enjoying your non-mobile stage, so I am not in a rush for you to crawl or walk...But you, well, you want to follow your brother and play with him, so I know you'd rather figure it out sooner rather than later.

-You are still eating stage 2 organic baby food items. Your favorites include oatmeal and rice cereal, carrots and anything flavored with fruit. You do not like green beans, but you will eat peas every now and again. But you are not eating and sampling table food. You want a taste of whatever it is when someone is eating around you. You enjoy pieces of bread, french fries and had your first ritz cracker a few days ago. You will suck and chew on organic teething biscuits and organic puffs as well. You just like the idea of eating what we are eating. Dad even let you taste a little loved that, but we aren't making that a normal occurance just yet :)

-Sleep, well, no progress there. You are still waking up several times a night. You eat and go back to bed, so it's not that bad, but yeah, I am tired. I feel like I have tried everything in the book short of letting you scream your head off, and it doesn't seem to be working. Just wondering when you'll turn the corner with this sleep thing.

-Your hair is growing in big time. It's getting long and thick. It's still straight in the front and you can see little curls in the back. Cute!

-You have found your voice and now you know when to express displeasure. If we take something from you that you are into, you will scream at us and start to cry. Conversely, when you are happy, you coo and talk lovingly to us.

-No updates right now for your weight and height, though I don't think you've sprouted that much over the past four weeks.

-And btw, much to dad's displeasure, you waited until yesterday to have your first blow out on his shirt and pants...we were at one of our favorite restaurants and let's just say operation clean the poop was in full effect. yuck!

So I think that's it for now. I am sure I have missed something. I will update more later.

Happy mother's day to the one who taught me what being a mother was all about. I love you mommy! I can only hope to be half the mother you are :)

Saturday, May 5, 2012

My Kinda Day

Today is the first Saturday in a LONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG time where we could just relax and go with the flow. And when I say "LONG" I mean in ages, since probably before B arrived. And thanks to the help and love, I actually managed to get back to sleep after my early wake up call and sleep until 10am! After that, I ate, relaxed (see the theme here?), took a long bath and got right back in my most comfy, favorite spot. I just love days like today. B is sleeping by my side. J is being spoiled by Mimi and all is right with the world at this moment. Let me take a minute to inhale and exhale.... Okay, I'm back. Aside from that, things are going okay. B, you are still in this crazy sleep pattern that we can't seem to break. I think even you realize that waking up to eat just isn't the business anymore because you hardly every even want to finish your bottles. But you go down between 8pm and 9pm, wake up around midnight to eat, then you are up again anytime between 2:30am and 3am to eat again. Then you are usually up for the day around 6am, maybe 7am if we're lucky. We've tried just about everything, but you aren't fussy, so I think you just like the attention and the nurturing. I'm giving you a few more weeks cause once we get settled in the new house, hopefully your crib and new room will be the magic touch! (BTW, where the heck is the spell check on the new blogger) As I posted earlier, your second tooth is in and that one came in without too much fuss or incident. You can barely see them peeking from your gums, but they are so cute. We took a trip to Whole Foods yesterday to get you some puffs and teething biscuits to chew on and you seem to like them. I am in the process of expanding your foods as well. You are super interested in eating and if someone is eating around you, you beg for a taste. I was making most of your food, but with the move, we've been relying on some organics to hold us over. And you enjoy them just fine, especially carrots and apples. I got you some blends yesterday that we'll try this week. Some of them, I just can't get over though, I mean, who the hell would want to eat spinich, apples and sweet potatoes in one sitting? Um, gross! So anyhow, we will see how you like the more pleasant blends. Okay, well, I guess I will get back to relaxing and doing nothing (sounds DIVINE doesn't it). It's back to the busy life soon enough...Gotta prep to go to a friend's 5th birthday party tomorrow :) Happy weekend everyone!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

And Another :)

B, your second tooth popped out today. You can barely see it, but it's there. The both of your little bottom chompers are so cute. And you love putting them to have been enjoying your puffs and your most recent love--organic cheerios. I keep trying to take pictures of them so I can add them to your collection, but you keep your tongue over your teeth every time you see the camera. One day I will catch you! BTW, I HATE the new blogger set up and change. Would have been nice if they gave us some notice of the pending changes. I can't figure anything out :(

Monday, April 30, 2012

We're on the Move

So excited to (finally) report that we have a home. Don't get me wrong, it's been great staying with Mimi and having constant help with the boys, but I am ready to have MY things in MY house and to get the boys back to reality...something about being in the home of Mimi that isn't quite reality. We can't always have what we want all the time, but hey, grandmas are meant to spoil them anyhow, right? Let's just hope the boys (or mom) don't go into shock when we move... So if all goes well, in a month and three days, we will close on the house and start the fun work of moving... Yay :)

Monday, April 23, 2012

No Longer Cool

B, I don't know when it happened, but at some point over the past week or so, I am no longer the cool #1 mom in your life. Sure, I know you love me and you still let me indulge in cuddle time daily, but in a sense you have realized that I am not the center of your universe. And it sucks. I am only (slightly) a little okay with it since your dad seems to be the light of your life. You absolutely light up when you realize that he's around and when he enters the room. You try to wiggle and squirm out of my arms until you get his attention enough to get to him. And once he picks you up--let the dancing commence. You literally jump for joy, smile, giggle and dance as he tosses you to and fro. It is pretty cool to see (though I really hate to admit it). Okay, so I was fine sharing the attention with your big brother as he has captured your heart and attention since day one, but geez, I am still cooler than dad, right? Dad keeps telling me that I am fighting a loosing battle. I guess I am reminded that the three of yall will have a bond that I won't share in. And I am okay with that. I am glad the boys have each other and that yall can openly love each other and enjoy spending time with each other. I will be here to do all the mommy stuff and to love every minute of it...even if that means occasionally moving to #2 in your book (we secretly both know that I will ALWAYS be #1 to all of you :). Anyhow, all continues to go well with our transition. Both of you boys are falling into line and we are establishing a routine. More than ever, I am just grateful to be near to family and friends and the love and support. I have missed that over the past 11 years! And I am glad that my boys are getting the opportunity to be loved by their extended family first-hand. We did our best with phone and skype, but nothing beats being here in person. Cherishing the moments...

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

6 Months Old...Edited with correct height

(Just act like I posted this on April 12th :)

Baby B, you are now 6 months old...I guess that means I can't technically call you a baby anymore. You are growing and changing every day right before our eyes. I pulled out a few pictures of you to decorate my new work space and wow, it seems like you were just a tiny newborn curling on my chest. Now you are a big boy who keeps us all smiling.

Your personality is starting to show. You are lovable and as sweet as can be. You love attention and are happy when you are playing and observing your brother. You also like your quiet time to just sit and absorb the world around you. I think your dad calls that "processing" and just like him, you process when you are in a new environment or around new people. You are extremely vocal and talk and talk and talk. It's actually pretty funny. You hold conversations with us and the tone and inflection in your voice change along with your facial expressions.

As for the milestones, you can sit up on your own for a little bit, but we still have to prop you up if you are going to stay sitting for any length of time. I know that if I just put you down or quit snuggling with you so much, you'd be an expert sitter (and roller by now). Oh well, it'll come. Speaking of rolling, you can go from tummy to back and I think back to tummy, but you haven't quite put it together that if you continue moving you can actual roll somewhere. Once you put two and two together--well, let's just keep things simple while you aren't mobile for now, LOL. You haven't had any teeth to pop through yet, but if the drooling and chewing of the fingers (and hands) is any indication, you are sooooo close. I can't yet feel any teeth right under your gums though, but they are there. Recently, you even discovered that your toes can reach your mouth (yes, it's comedy as well...up until you bite down on your toe too hard and have a fit). Your latest obsessions include cell phones, remote controls and your brother's iPad. You are a technology geek already. If any of those three things are within your reach, you go to town and enjoy yourself with them more than with your own toys. And don't let us take one of those from you, you will yell and swing at us like you are upset (and yeah, um, it's cute for now, but let's not make that a habit, okay?).

In the sleep department...well, you are still winning that battle. But I have to give you props, you are showing signs of promise. After your visit to the doc (more on that below), he encouraged us to step it up with the sleep training. He said no feedings AT ALL at night, but I am not that mean. So you go down for the night between 8pm and 9pm. You wake up around midnight for your "final feeding" and since you are stuck waking up every 2.5 or 3 hours, the past few nights, you have been up around 2:30am or 3am looking for food. We put the pacifier in your mouth, pat your back and let you whine (or cry) for as long as possible. Sometimes you fall back asleep for a few hours like you are supposed to. But alas, when mom is tired and your stomach is growling, I feel guilty and I will feed you. But I do try to make you wait as long as possible. So technically, that's one time a night that you are up as you will eat and sleep until 6 or 7am. So we are making progress...slow and steady I guess.

You are eating more food and definitely let us know what you like and what you don't like. Squash was your first food and you loved it two months ago. But now, well, let's just say you cry if it hits your tongue. You do the same with green beans. So yes, none of those things for us now. But you LOVE carrots. I mean, you love them. You can't get enough. You also like sweet potatoes and peas okay. As for fruits, you now eat apples, pears and prunes. You still have rice cereal on occasion but more often you are eating oatmeal cereal now. You are up to two full meals a day and you like meal time.

Maybe that's why you're tipping the scales and off the charts ;). Though you are smaller than J was at that age, you are still over the percentile in height and weight. You are weighing in at 21 pounds 6 ounces and I think you are 23 inches tall (I need to double check that). *Well, I was are 26.75 inches now*

You had your first well baby visit with a new physician last week. Ironically, he used to be one of my pediatricians when I was a kid. I was actually treated by his uncle who was my main doctor, but when my uncle wasn't available, he checked me out. How cool is that. It was great to see him again and he's an awesome doc, so I know you are in good hands. Anyhow, the doctor was pleased with your health and your progress. You escaped shots this time around since your medical records haven't arrived from your old doctor, but you did have an oral vaccine. Dad enjoyed the lollipop that you would normally receive for being a good patient (and he almost broke the doctors scale, but that's another story for another time).

So I think that's it for month 6, baby B! You are doing amazingly well and are the happiest baby in town!

Friday, April 13, 2012

Field Trippin'

Breathe breathe out...Inhale...Exhale...And repeat!

I have to keep reminding myself of that today. J, it's your first field trip today. You are heading to the zoo with your class and then to Ryan's for lunch. I didn't get to drop you off at school this am, but I am told that you were ready to go though you did want Mimi to tag along with your class. So you should be pulling up to the zoo right now. I know you will have fun and enjoy the animals, but I wanted to go too. Dad had to remind me that we have to let you go and let you fly...but that just doesn't sound right, or fair right now. You need us to go with you and hold your hand and make sure you see all the animals and that you can buy a treat in the store. You still need me to explain why everything is as it is, right? Alas, maybe you don't. I mean, of course you do, but it's okay for you to go and explore without me sometimes too. Geez, this is hard. I know I sound crazy, but you'll understand one day. In the meantime, I am counting down the time until we can pick you up from school, hear all about the zoo adventures and know that you're safe. Yeah, that's right, while you on your field trip, I am field trippin' over here! Don't laugh.

And B, next time you decide to party from 3am to 5am, be sure to invite your daddy!

Hope yall have a good weekend. It feels good to be back in blog land. I would love to hear from please, comment :)

Thursday, April 12, 2012

So What's Going On????

Well, that's a great question...Throw in the following and see what you get:

-Two active little boys

-Packing up a 4 bedroom house

-A move four states away

-A 700+ mile ride in a car with said boys

-A stop over night in a hotel after 400 miles because said boys (and a Mimi) had car fever and wanted OUT

-Saying goodbye to a job after nearly 11 years

-Getting acquainted to a new (old) city

-Becoming a statistic and moving back in with mom (LOL)

-Finding a preschool, summer camp and kindergarten for J (and getting him accepted, yay for a smart kid)

-Still searching for childcare for B

-Storage, a new home and all that madness

...and you get the recipe for an insane mommy. But I have been holding it together better than I thought. Moving onward adn upward has been the theme for the past few weeks as we have totally transitioned our location and our life. The boys have been taking things in stride and though J asks to go home to Florida sometimes (wait, every day), I think he's getting used to this. He's doing well in school and I know he will LOVE camp.

And B is the BIG 6 months old today. Whoa. His 6 month post will come shortly :)

Thanks for hanging in there with me while I have been away from this blog, but I think we have returned to our regularly scheduled program (at least for now).

Hugs and kisses!

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Still Here

Sorry for the lack of blogging lately.

There's a ton going on that I can't wait to let you in on.

I know I am keeping you in suspense with the details, but let's just say that we have a lot of transitions on the horizon that are taking up a great deal of time.

I promise to get back to regular updates in the next few days!

The boys are doing well and handling our changes better than I am :)

Monday, March 26, 2012

Friday, March 23, 2012

ABC's of Me :)

A. Age: 33

B. Bed Size: king

C. Chore you Dislike: DISHES!

D. Dogs: No thanks!

E. Essential to Start the Day: Hmmmm, prayer...

F. Favorite Color: pink

G. Gold or Silver: silver

H. Height: 5'7.5"

I. Instruments you Play(ed): clarinet

J. Job Title: executive director

K. Kids: 4 year old J and 5 monyh old B

L. Live: Florida

M. Mom's name: Cynthia

N. Nicknames: Nik

O. Overnight hospital stays: a few here and there

P. Pet peeves: crunching ice

Q. Quote from a movie:

R. Righty or Lefty: righty

S. Siblings: a brother, TG

T. Time you wake up: 7:45am

U. Underwear: as long as they are comfy, I don't care...

W. What makes you run late: anything...I am usually late

X. Xrays you've had: ankle, tailbone, uterus (HSG), dental, knee, etc

Y. Yummy food you make: strawberry cake, shrimp pasta

Z. Zoo animal you love: none...don't like the zoo

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Mommy of Brown Boys

No words needed...Well, maybe one...Justice...that is all!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

This Ish Isn't For Me

That was the line I was awakened with at 3am. And it was comical! B, you and dad have been having sleepovers together for the past two nights so mom can get a good night's rest in the guest room. You are still at the point where you are waking up every three hours to eat, and sometimes that's every two hours depending on your moods. So um, yeah, you have been hanging out with dad at night. The first night, you guys did great and after a mom rescue feeding around midnight and suctioning to your nose, I slept until 7am. Well, last night, between your waking up every two hours to eat and J sleepwalking and waking dad up three times before 3am, dad decided he had enough. So in you came at 3am smiling with all your gums out as dad handed you over to me with his proclimation that "this *$(% isn't for me." Why what do you mean big J? This is what happens EVERY night and you can't make it TWO nights? Come on man (quoting Sunday Night Countdown)...Welp, since I had been sleeping peacefully for four hours at that point, I gladly took you for a feeding and some snuggle time before we both went to sleep until 7am. But yeah, dad, this is what happens at night when you usually sleep through it.

Baby B--1; Dad--ZERO!!!!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Rules of Reality

If you've seen the news lately, you have no doubt heard of the case of a little black boy who was gunned down by a "neighborhood watch" leader for no reason at all other than a perception of suspicion. If that weren't enough, the man who gunned down the little boy has not even been arrested. Where's the value in human life? Where's the justice for that little boy and his family? Police are saying that there isn't enough evidence to arrest the man, but after hearing the 911 tapes that have surfaced and the accounts of the witnesses, I have to question that. My heart goes out to the family of Trayvon Martin, who by all accounts was a good kid...and who definitely didn't deserve to die in that manner.

This case has brought to light some of the harsh realities of parenting black boys. Of of my mentors who is an amazing example of a wife and mother penned a post that says it better than I could. Here's an excerpt:

I mean......does anyone care about Trayvon Martin? Or about what it means to any African American parent when horrors such as this one occur????? As I reflect on how many times I have to tell my African American son to take his hoodie off lest someone white "get scared" or "think the wrong thing"???? Tired of this shit! Tired of always having to take the offensive every damn day.......every time there's a burglary or crime in my neighborhood, folks looking at my son and my husband as if they may be the one! This is the problem! And got the same shit in all the gated communities we've lived in too....all over the country! How am I supposed to believe in this society and trust that all is OK when my African American son could be next on the list. This is deep folks. It really is. The mindset out there from the majority of folks is terrifying. I feel like I'm living in the 50's - having to issue warnings to my children every damn day - don't go here, don't wear this, take the hood off.................even though their white counterparts don't have to understand these same codes. They're free to be kids! Had to get on my son for essentially walking through a store with his hands in his pockets. Mind you, he was doing nothing wrong, and he seems to just feel comfortable with hands in pocket......but I am looking at what THEY might think when they see the hands in pockets. A thief? A gun? Every damn day!!!! Just like I must prove that I'm really in Nordstrom to shop and truly purchase something....not lift it!!!!!!!! WTF! It breaks my heart every day when I realize just how it is, and ain't never changed. Black folks, please teach your kids. They need to know how treacherous some of these folks can be! They need to understand what they must face, what they must to do survive, even if it isn't fair. LIke, maybe they can't walk to the convenience store, maybe they can't go out to buy some Skittles and ides tea like Trayvon Martin, not like white kids can !!!!!! Sorry for the rant, but I am really reeling and, I suspect, most of Black America is too....unless we're too caught up in watching stupid ass reality shows or Basketball games to care or even know what time it is!!!!!!!!!

Very harsh reality right now to face as the mommy of two brown boys. In our age where they now see a black president and hopefully understand that they can achieve all of their dreams, I just pray that they grow up with a more tolerant society that believes in them as much as we do...

Lord help us!

Monday, March 19, 2012

The Mommy Paradox

We want to hold on, but we want to let go. We want to see the next milestone, but we want time to stand still. We want to soothe you, but we want you to learn to be independent. We want to protect you from all hurt, but we want you to learn from life's difficulties. We want to keep you by our sides forever, but we want you to grow wings and fly.

Just a few things sticking out in my head this morning as I think about my boys. B is becoming such a little man right before my eyes, yet it still seems like he should be a little newborn. It is amazing how many changes babies go through during the first year. I posted B's 5 months update a few days ago (scroll down), but yeah, he's just amazing. I look at him and I just can't put into words what I feel. I guess I could go on and on with the oxymorons that seem to apply, but yeah, it's bitter sweet to see him continuing to grow and thrive. Of course, I am overjoyed with each new discovery or development and I think with excitement about the day when he figures out how to crawl, walk and say mamma. (BTW, he's babbling da-da now, LOL). But B, can you just snuggle with mom a little longer please? Your big brother is far too independent to do so and yeah, the coolness of mom gets replaced quickly by the "boys" hanging together with dad. And um, so yep, they even have their own little special sign that they do that I can't be a part of. Woe is me :)

***Moving on***

It's another Monday around these parts and I am tired! We had a great weekend in Miami with the family and B got to put his toes in the swimming pool for the first time. It was a little chilly, so he didn't get to fully enjoy, but J--ie the fish, certainly got his fill of swimming. In addition, we got to hang out on South Beach and took in a Miami Heat game. How awesome to see J chanting and cheering with all the fans. He had a ball! Alas, back to reality today...

Pictures to come soon!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Heart Disease Awareness

You know how sometimes you become the poster child for something without really wanting to do it? And yeah, you join a club that you never thought you would be in yet you find yourself in the midst of what you feel is madness? Well, I guess that sums up how I feel about heart disease and awareness of heart issues.

If you've read my blog the past few days, you know by now that two years ago my father suddenly passed away. My dad was a picture of health, or so we thought. He ate well for the most part and worked out every day of the week. He was active and very much vibrant and just all around amazing! So in the grips of grief in dealing with his death, the questions came. How could he die from a massive heart attack? It just didn't (and still doesn't) make any sense to us.

So now, there are several campaigns going on that seek to raise awareness of heart disease. And as we now know all too well, family heredity is something that is a high, high risk factor. My Pawpaw (dad's father) died of congestive heart failure and after the fact, we have learned that two of my dad's other brothers are suffering from heart issues. TALK TO YOUR FAMILY PEOPLE!!!!

My amazing brother was featured on a news story yesterday in a series of heart disease awareness.

See the new story HERE

And check yourself and your family for the risk factors. We will have to keep a close eye on ourselves and our boys and remain committed to breaking the cycle of this ugly disease in our family!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I Am...

I am… anxious about some changes.

I know… we are doing the right thing.

I want… to talk to my dad's voice to hear his advice.

I wish… there was an end to the violence in the world.

I fear… not being around to see my boys grow up.

I feel… super tired (B, please sleep all night tonight:)

I smell… probably most like spit up right now...

I hear… angry birds...

I wonder… if we will have more children

I believe… in a higher power

I sing… when I am cleaning up

I cried last… night probably...Today marks two years since my dad died.

I can usually be found… on my laptop, ipad or cell phone.

I am happy… when I am with my family and friends.

What are {you} today?

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


It's been two years since I last heard your voice...unimaginable pain, strength I didn't know existed and love and support from near and far. I long for you every day. My heart continues to ache and the tears still flow as we carry on your legacy. Daddy, missing you today and every day!

"Dance With My Father"

Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around ‘til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him
He’d make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again
Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
And I’d hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I’m praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don’t do it usually
But dear Lord she’s dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream

Monday, March 12, 2012

Five Months!

Baby B, you are five months old today! Though it seems like you were born just yesterday, at the same time, it seems like you've been here forever. Well, you are definitely not a newborn anymore. You are a full on little person with your own desires, likes and dislikes. I love that you aren't ashamed to let us know it too :). Let's see what are you up to at five months?

-You are probably right around 20 pounds now if I had to guess...Yep, you aren't missing any meals :).

-Speaking of meals, you are now eating one meal by spoon per day. You have organic brown rice cereal or organic brown rice cereal with apples. Just two days ago you started having organic squash. Mom finally broke out the baby bullet that Ranise got us and made some squash for you. While it's not your favorite, you're getting used to eating and seem to enjoy the process. We are sticking with the squash for a few more days, then we will go to sweet potatoes which I have a feeling you'll like much better.

-You are mostly wearing 6 months clothes. You can still fit into some 3 month outfits and have some 9 month that fit as well. You are in a size 3 diaper and a size 2 shoe.

-You LOVE making noises and discovering your voice. You were giving us "raspberries" all the time, but now, you love to squeal at the top of your lungs...and boy can you fuss when you feel like it! It's super cute (for now...)

-You are still waking up twice a night to eat (enough already, LOL). You usually go down around 9:30 or 10pm, wake up at 2am and 5am and then are up for the day at 7am. The good part is that you eat and go right back to sleep (not sure you even really wake up). The bad part, well, not really bad cause I like that time with you, but um yeah, we are tired over here baby boy! Looking forward to your sleeping in longer stretches...

-And um, yeah, your newest craze (TMI here) is pooping in the bathtub. I mean, really, is the tub THAT comfortable to you? LOL. Seems like that's just your "spot" and well, yeah, you just let it go...EEEKKK!

-Still no teeth in site, but you are a drooling machine, so I am thinking we'll feel something rush though.

-You can just about sit up on your own. When we prop you up like a tripod, you will stay there for a few seconds and eventually tilt over. You are definitely getting stronger though!

-You like spending time in your exersaucer and discovering the toys. Your legs are getting strong as while you are playing, you get excited and your little legs look like they are standing up!

I think that's it for are a joy to have around and your smiles light up the room. You are a true charmer and love being fussed over. Here's to another great month!

I will update later with pics after your "photo shoot"

Thursday, March 8, 2012

I Know, I Know

I had just gotten the hang of this blogging thing and actually took the time to write (ie my therapy) and post regularly and now, well, let's just say for a number of reasons, it has to take a back seat...but PLEASE, hang in there with me.

Until then, I want to share this AWESOME article with you about my dad. He's being honored by a local business magazine and being inducted into their Hall of Fame later this month. We miss him terribly and I couldn't be more proud!!!

Check it out HERE ...

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Back to Black

Sorry for the lack of updates these past few days...Lots going on in our part of the world. But I am doing fine and the boys are great. B is LOVING rolling over (from tummy to back only right now) and doing raspberries (all over the place). And J is becoming a writing expert now. Yay! So I will fade to black for a little bit to get the rest of my work done. We will be back to our regularly scheduled blog programming soon.

Friday, March 2, 2012

It's Raining Hair

And I am not singing halleliugh about it!

Now, don't get me wrong, my hair is the longest and the thickest it's been in a while. I attribute that to the preggo hormones, but also to the fact that I no longer get relaxers. #teamnatural

When B turned three months old, I thought I had escaped the dreaded postpartum hair shedding. As I was doing a little celebratory dance (I should know better by now), the hair starting falling out before my eyes. Cue the tears. For a few weeks, hair was EVERYWHERE dot com! All over the bathrooom floor, my pillow, the back of my shirts. The long strands were leaving a trail behind me every time I walked! Now, I understand the science behind this as your hair rarely sheds during pregnancy, yada, yada, yada...but to see this ish is something all the way different. I drew the line in the sand when I found hair in B's mouth and wrapped around his fingers (and yes, him pulling my hair out was probably the cause of that one, but you get where I am going here).

So I am back on the herbal supplements and vitamins in hopes to hold on to a few of my leftover strands. This is all temporary, right?

My friend over at Curly Hue and RedStick Naturals, what helped you and your readers with this?

I need advice...

Thursday, March 1, 2012

9 Months On...4 Months Off

So I can say that in just a little over four months, I am back to my pre-baby size.

Here's a quick view...

So I was ecstatic to be able to put on my "skinny" jeans last week and frankly, I was shocked when they fit. I was expecting to have to leave them unbuttoned and feel stuffed all day, but I was willing to do so to be cute, LOL. But I slipped them right on and buttoned them without a problem. Now, my body, though the same size is very different in composition and that flat belly I used to show off doesn't boast the abs of steel anymore.'s the flip side...I still have about 15 to 20 pounds to go to be at my most comfortable weight. When my dad passed away in March of 2010, I battled with depression and just utter sadness and packed on some pounds. Before I found out B was on the way, I was on a serious mission to loose weight and had been working out and pushing myself like crazy. Once we realized B was on board, I was advised by the doc to back down on the working out and really just didn't feel well enough to continue, so I gladly stopped. Well, now, I need to get back to it.

I have been doing pilates here, which I LOVE and I can already see a difference in my body and muscle tone, so that's working. Now, I just need to up my cardio and I think I will be fine to continue to see the scale go down. Now that I have put it out there in the blog world, let's hope you hold me accountable and I stay motivated. I plan to update weekly with my weigh in's (though I haven't decided if I will be bold enough to share the numbers just yet, LOL).

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Rollin' in Style

I guess I should finish talking about baby products for a while before yall get bored with my just bear with me, I think this is the last one for a while...

Don't know how I forgot to talk about one of my favorite new purchases for B. It's his stroller! I think I may have mentioned that with J, I ended up buying four different strollers between the time he was a newborn and two years old. It seemed like none were multi-functional enough as he transitioned through the next stages. I had the stroller that went with his car seat/travel set that could be used either with the bucket seat or alone, the snap 'n go stroller for the car seat (which is a must have, btw), then I got a fancy peg perego full size stroller and a jogging stroller for the extra space. I have since either gifter or sold all of those. For B, I knew I didn't want the stroller/car seat travel set as it was too big and bulky for me. So we got the sit and stand deluxe so I could still have a portion on the back for J to either sit and stand when he got tired of walking and still have enough space to use it with B's car seat. That stroller is great, but yeah, it's big and heavy and can be a hassle. What bugs me the most about it is that it seems as though B is so far out of my reach since he's on the front portion of the stroller and J is in the back, but we use it and it's nice.

But then (*cue the cheesy ta dah music*) during one of my outings to BRU, I saw this beautiful thing...

It's the Lamaze Indigo Stroller. What I LOVE most about this is that I can move the seat and turn B facing me or facing out(of course now, I keep him in my direction). The seat reclines fully back or sits up. It has a fun little toy and the black and white design just plain looks great!

Now, this stroller doesn't have the best reviews online and while I take that into account before making a purchase, I always like to try things on my own. So I took it for a test drive at BRU and it worked for me. I haven't had any off the squeeky wheels or other issues that some reviewers point out. I have definitely had my share of strollers and this one ranks near the top.

I am in love with this stroller and I love it even more because I caught it on a great sale and was also able to use a 25% discount coupon. SCORE :)

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Poor Sophie

Here I go on another baby product kick...After trying to figure out a good teether for B, I turned to my trusty friend Dr. Google and happened upon very positive reviews for Sophie the Giraffe. Sophie seems to be made in France and here's how they describe her:

Vulli's Sophie the Giraffe has been amusing babies for 50 years. Made of 100% natural rubber and food paint, the BPA- and phthalate-free Sophie is soothing and safe for your teething baby. Sophie’s unique design, pattern and texture stimulate all of your baby’s senses during playtime. She makes a happy sound when squeezed, stimulating hearing and helping your baby understand the link between cause and effect.
Sophie the Giraffe Teether by Vulli comes in natural rubber for baby's teething 0-12 months+. Sophie is the famous giraffe Sophie, who has been part of babies lives for more than 40 years. Slender, flexible, and soft, baby can squeeze and chew her in complete safety. Made of 100% Natural Rubber (phthalates Free) and food paint. Lovable and amusing, she makes a happy sound when her body is squeezed: Stimulate baby's hearing and helps him to understand the link between cause and effect. She is perfect for soothing Baby's sore gums when teething. The singular scent of Natural Rubber from the HEVEA TREE makes Sophie very special and easy for your child to identify amid all his other toys

Sounds great, right? So I ventured once again to BRU to find Sophie and wow, they have a whole set up of Sophie items. Instead of trying one of everything, I did well and just got one Sophie and rushed home for B to try it. Let me tell you, from the first moment, Sophie had no chance. B grabbed it and went to chewing and gnawing immediately. He loves it. As a teether, it's great because there are many different sides and sizes that can meet his mouth. It's super soft and smells yummy and it's just the right size where B can grasp and hold on to it. So yeah, Sophie is a winner in the house. It's a little pricey, but worth the money!

Check him out :)

Saturday, February 25, 2012

So Is This What the Duggars Feel Like?

Okay, so maybe it's not 18 (or 19, I can't keep up) kids and counting, but yesterday, I had 5 and it felt like 18. So with my friends three girls (N--age 6, L--age 4.5, A--age 18 months) and my two, the house was FULL. The chaos reigned and I was running from one room to another trying to keep it all together. During a moment of pause I had to ask myself how people do this. Then I recalled my days as a preschool ballet teacher and a kindergarten substitute teacher. So I think institued school in the house. So with structured activities and an emphasis on taking turns and directions, the chaos transitioned into an event filled fun day. B stayed on his schedule for the most part and the girls and J had a lot of fun.

And then I got daring and decided to move the party to the park. So I packed up our lunch and filled the truck with the kids and we headed out to the neighborhood park. The outing was successful...everyone was fed and B napped while the other four played in the park. It was great because except for one little girl, we were the only ones there so I could sit back and take in the view of everyone without distractions.

So whew, we (well, I) made it through the day with five kids under 6 years old...and it was kinda fun, maybe we will do it again, if they were all my own, I don't know that I'd be this calm and live to write about it all the time, LOL.

I tried to snap a few pics, but needless to say, my hands were full. These two were all I could capture on my cell phone...

Happy weekend!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

On Mortality

With the passing of Whitney Houston and a few other celebrities over the past few months, it seems like more folks are focused on death and the after life now. You would hope that would lead people to live better daily lives but who knows if that is the case.

As my close friend pointed out, when you loose someone close as I lost my dad, life and death will never be viewed in the same manner. Death just doesn't have the same sting as before and you learn to live with the realities of that there are some things out of our control and some things we will never understand.

Now the point of this post isn't to be morbid at all, so let me get to it. As I was watching Super Nanny the other day (a re-run from a few years ago), a few things struck me. A father had called for the assistance of Super Nanny with his family of three young boys (ages 6, 4 and 2). The mother had passed away of cancer a year prior. She left behind her husband and three children, each who was still grieving in their own way. I was left with my heart going out to the dad and the boys, but more so to the mom who never got to see her boys grow up. I can't imagine the angish she faced as she looked at her own mortality in the face and tried to fight to stay here. To think that there was so much she probably wanted to do and say to her sons just broke my heart. And I can't get it out of my mind.

I would hope that my boys would keep my memory alive and that they would always know they were loved and had the best guardian angel watching over them at all times.

I wanted to pen this post a number of days, but I didn't want something to happen and then for people to look back at this and say, awwww, look at her last words. Yeah, I can be a little supersticious when it comes to things like that. But like I said above, I have learned that we have no control over such things. We cannot live in a state where we are fearful of death or anxious about things at every turn. We have to have faith that God's work for our individual lives will come to completion. It just compels me to live each day, learn more and love the most!

Now, back to the regularly scheduled programming :)

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Laissez Les Bon Temps...

Yeah, well, if you know the rest of that line, you are probably from Louisiana. There are so many things unique about HOME and so many reasons why I am grateful to have grown up there. So today, on Mardi Gras / Fat Tuesday / the day before Ash Wednesday, I celebrate all things Louisiana!

Bringing it back to the blog...

It's hard to imagine that my boys don't or won't have the connection to Louisiana that big J and I do. It's such an indescribable affinity for a city and a state that truly are like no other. We do it big, we celebrate, we eat, we love and we spend time with family. We cherish all things sacred and whether it's the band at our universities or going make groceries or simply spending time with your mamma 'nem--we love every minute of it. The culture is like none other and of course the food is top notch. I want my boys to love Louisiana as much as we do. I want them to appreciate the immersion of the French culture in all things that we do. I don't want Mardi Gras to be a foreign concept or something they see on the news in passing. I want them to live it, breathe it and love it. Ahhhhhh, my Louisiana!

So today, from 1000 miles away, I salute my home state! I proudly wear my purple, green and gold and won't let another Mardi Gras pass without my being there (God willing). I want to be in that number!!!!! For the past two years, my brother and I have been in the Zulu parade. Can I say it's the opportunity of a LIFETIME. So much fun...So HAIL ZULU!

So boys--you will learn to say it with me...Sur Le Pont D'Avingnon....Je suis allez la bas au zoo...Ayyyyy la bas....LAISSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULER!!!!!

Now, somebody send me some king cake :)

Sunday, February 19, 2012

The Remix

I guess this is my attempt at reviewing some baby products...Well, more so my way of reminding myself what I really like. I call this post "the remix" because it's just that. I thought with J, through trial and error, I had it all figured out. But it seems like everything I did for him was thrown out the window this time. It's true what they say--every baby is different. So I had to learn that it was okay to toss out my (somewhat) conventional wisdom, try new things and learn what worked best for B. So without any delay, here's what is currently in heavy rotation at our house...BTW, this is also B's 4 month old updates all rolled into one nice post :)

Formula: B is drinking about 5 ounces of formula every three hours. Before bedtime, he takes about 7 ounces, but that doesn't hold him any longer. He's still hungry when he's hungry and he wants the food NOW! B drinks Similac for Spit Up (also known as the green one). He started off with the regular brand, but as the name suggests, he was having a few issues that this formula resolved quite a bit (so we were able to get rid of the zantac!). In contrast, J was on Enfamil. We had many issues with J and formula and he ended up on the (hella pricey) nutramagin formula. Boy was I glad when 12 months came! Anyhow, B drinks this stuff up and seems to like it. I guess it was a good compromise for him after he finished up the last of my breast milk. And he seems to like it so much that he still won't drink water or juice...

Bottles: As I may have stated in a previous post, I love all things baby and that includes my obsession with bottles. With J, the Dr. Brown's bottles were the latest and greatest in the market, so of course he had to have them. They worked like magic and the anti-colic gadgets help J as his reflux was the worst. The down side of those bottles was that there were all the extra pieces to clean, but like I said, for him, it was worth it since they helped him so much. Well, with B, again, I wanted to try to latest and greatest on the market so I registered for a slew of the Born Free bottles. I loved the look and loved even more that they were chemical free. So I went with it. Well, in the hospital and at home when B started receiving the supplement to my breast milk, he was fed from the small nurser bottles with a Nuk nipple. So he was used to that. Once I tried to transition him to the Born Free, his sucking pattern and preference was already established and the Born Free nipple was too big and uncomfortable for him. So I sadly took all my (cute) trendy bottles back and exchanged them for the Tommee Tippee brand. Hey, they're just as new to the market and have great reviews, so I didn't count the trade as a loss. Well, thankfully B took to them and they worked great. They also have an anti-colic valve and have helped to reduce his spit up. So yeah, I like them okay (that's all that matters, right, LOL)...They've actually just introduced a new sensitive tummy bottle and I had to stop myself from buying them at the store today :)

Food: The doctor started B on rice cereal after his last appointment. He's taking a tablespoon of Earth's Best Organic Whole Grain Rice Cereal mixed in with about two ounces of formula. Of course it's been an adventure getting him used to eating it, but it looks like he is finally getting the hang of it. He always wants to pull and beg for food when we are eating, so I think he finally feels like he can get his taste of "real" food. For now, we are following doctor's orders and only giving him the food once or twice a day, so he's not getting that much of it. J started on rice cereal but quickly moved to oatmeal because rice just wasn't his thing. We'll see how long B enjoys the rice before we make the switch.

Diapers: With J, I SWORE by Huggies. There was no better diaper out there for him. And yeah, well, this go round, for some reason, Pampers seems to be the magic diaper for B. The Huggies leave him irritated and I find the cut too narrow for him. So Pampers it is. B is in a size 3 (!) diaper right now and the Pampers contain the blow outs and seem to absorb more than the Huggies. And actually, we ventured into another unknown territory. B is in G Brand cloth diapers right now. He was a little too irritated and we are applying a special cream from the doc. So I decided that we needed to air him out a bit, so we are giving the cloth diapers a go. Now, don't get me wrong, when it's time for the poops or blow outs, he will be back in the disposables and when he's at the sitter, plastic it is. He's still only having one BM per day, so I am comfy with the cloth. I only have two of the cloth diapers and about six liners, so it'll be mostly for giving his little butt a break when we are around the house.

And cause they are just so darn cute...

Well, I think that's it in terms of the stuff we have in the current rotation. Well, aside from the Soothie pacifier that we can't do without.

More to come....

Friday, February 17, 2012

Four Month Stats

So yes, today was the big weigh in. After taking a few guesses about where B would tip the scale, I would say that I was surprised with his stats. I guess I was thinking he would be larger since we know his growth is off the chart, but alas, he hasn't broken out of the teens yet. All in all, he had a great visit. We saw a new doctor in the practice today because our PCP was booked, but I loved Dr. Black. I kinda feel like a cheater, but I would love for both boys to see her more often. Not only is she very thorough, but her bedside manner is awesome. Not that our regular PCP isn't, but Dr. Black just went the extra mile and spend a great amount of time with me reviewing everything in detail. (and the formula full size samples she gave me may have given her an extra brownie point too) Anyhow, we are following Dr. Sears' delayed vaccination schedule for B. I just can't seem to come to make myself agree with the amount and frequency of vaccines given to infants these days. I think I commented on my position in a previous post, but to summarize, I do agree that the shots are necessary to protect the kids, but I do want to be careful to limit the amount of foreign (indigestible) substances that B is exposed to at a time. So it was one shot and an oral vaccine for us. Then we'll go back in a month to get the other two shots. Dr. Black didn't balk or question when I told her I wanted to space the shots out. She was not only supportive, but gave recommendations on which to do now and which later and provided justifications. Did I mention she may be my new favorite doctor?

Okay, so on with's where B is at four months (18 weeks):

Weight: 18 pounds, 14 ounces (97%)
Height: 25 3/4 inches (87%)
Head Circumference: 18 3/4 inches (97%)

Dr. Black seemed pretty pleased with his progress. Though he's a big boy, he's proportionate and growing at a good rate. (SN: J was about 19 lbs., 14 oz. at 4 months)

Healthy baby. Thank God :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

A Year Ago Today...

Our lives changed in a huge way...Baby B, you decided to let us know you were on your way to the world on Valentine's Day last year. What love grew in all of us on that day. Even though J didn't know what he was in for, he was just as excited. We were cautiously happy though we postponed the celebrations until we were sure that you were okay and later shared our news with our families. But on this day, we celebrated the miracle that had started blooming. Seems like just yesterday :)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

On What I Didn't Know I Needed

Now, I have to admit (*standing and raising right hand*)...My name is Nikki and I am addicted to all things baby. For some reason, the fixation on baby gear hasn't waned in the four plus years since I went crazy getting things for J. If anything, it has only increase. I LOVE baby gadgets, the latest helpful items for mom, soothing items for baby and useless items that look good. I happen to pride myself in knowing all the latest and showing off my baby in the cool stuff. If I were being really honest, I'd admit that I had four different strollers for J. As of now, I am on two (different from the other ones) for B. I know big J must look around the house sometimes and wonder why we need a swing, two bouncy chairs, floor play mat, and an exersaucer all in our living room. And yeah, so we have a bouncer and two other more "mature baby" items still in the box in the play room. So between all those goodies, my baby carriers, stroller collections and other stuff, I love my baby playland every day. I like to think the boys enjoy it too, but that could just be my justification :).

Well, yesterday, I got one of the coolest gifts ever from my friend over at Kurlylicious. It's called a bath bib and I am #1 upset that I didn't invent this thing and #2 upset that I didn't know about it. Such a simple thing, but in a day it has revolutionized our bathtime. Okay, that's me being dramatic, but yeah, I love the thing. We got an awesome green one with B's name on it (#monogrammingmommy). And after I figured out who sent it (LOL...that's another story), we put it to use. And whoa, how easy was getting my wiggle worm out the tub without being drenched. I'm telling you, this is a game changer for me. Love, love, love the thing. I am sure some smart mom somewhere invented this in a moment of frustration. I need to start doing that. It's just the small things. Welp, so if you're my friend IRL and you're expecting, you can just about guess what your gifts will be from now on. Registries be damned, this is the best!

Adding it to the list of my cool baby stuff!

Thanks Kurlylicious (and to Alanda now that I feel like I know who you are...thanks Dr. Google)!!!!!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

The Baby Boycott

Okay, so no, before you get carried away, we are not boycotting baby B. Rather, he is holding a boycott of his own...against sleep of all things! I mean, isn't the saying something like happy sleep, happy baby? For us, it's more like little sleep, happy baby. So while he's still in an awesome mood and is still his charming self, B has decided that sleep is overrated. For the past few nights, B has been up singing and entertaining himself during the wee hours of the say 3am to 5:30am. To his credit, last night he did sleep from 11:30pm to 4:30am, ate and went back to sleep at 5am, but by 6am, he was up and doing the baby dance, ready for the day to start. Um, yeah, I have on two different socks today, we were late bringing J to school and baby, mamma is tired!

*I forgot to mention that this is our second week with the transition to B's crib. The bassinet wasn't working for the "beefy" boy anymore and since he exceed the 15 pound weight limit on the bassinet about a month ago, we decided that we couldn't push it anymore. Especially since when he pushed up on his arms, he was halfway over the top of the thing anyway.*

So alas, it's off to the crib and he likes it. He can stretch out and sleeps peacefully in it, when he sleeps. Even through this little phase (yes, I am saying it will be a little--ie short phase), it's still hard to get frustrated. Something about walking to the crib to try to get him to settle down and seeing those gums sticking out and happy that just makes you appreciate the moment. So we soldier on, with no sleep...with diet coke!

Thankfully J is a great sleeper, once he's asleep. He doesn't wake up while B is exercising his vocal chords! I need to go back and look at my journals from J and see what he was doing and how he was sleeping at 3.5 months. That may give me hope.

In the meantime, I am thinking I need to pull out Baby Wise again. We were doing so well on it and he was down to waking only one time a night. I don't know what happened. Dr. Ezzo, please come back to my rescue!!!

Monday, February 6, 2012

It's Official

....I am a t-ball mom! Now all I need is a minivan to complete the transition...NOT!

First t-ball practicen went well. J enjoyed it more than I thought, so now if we could get that whole hit the ball and run to first base and not third base thing down, we'll have a winner :).

B had some new fun all his own this weekend as he took his first few spins in his exersaucer. By all accounts, he loved it.

Friday, February 3, 2012

It Was a Little Struggle

...and it took quite some time, but I did it y'all...I put my jeans on :)....while at face value, that doesn't seem like a big deal, but trust me, it is! We all have THAT pair of jeans--the ones that have been with us through some of our craziest and most fun moments...the ones that comfort us and no matter what, just make us feel good. Yeah, those I have to admit (full disclosure) that I am a jean hoarder...and not just any jeans mind you, but only the nice branded (read: too expensive) pairs. So I have a closet full waiting on my attention, ready to hug my curves, but one step at a time.

Now, I live for comfort clothes...sweatpants, yoga pants and leggings are my staples...and yes, I even wear them to work. But something came over me today and I just wanted to test out my jeans. So I am about seven pounds away from my pre baby size, but I was on a good track of loosing weight before I found out that B was baking in there. Anyhow, I wasn't naive enough to think that my Rock and Republics or my fav CJ by Cookie Johnson's were ready to make their debut on my backside. So I pulled my ole trusty fav pair...along with my sheer will, utter determination, a few beads of sweat and many wiggles and deep breaths, the jeans were on!!! Yay me. Score one for the home team! And after another few minutes and more of the aforementioned drama, I actually buttoned them and ventured out for the afternoon feeling a little bit better about myself and my added chunkies :)

So here's to the start of a good weekend! We've got a fun filled weekend on tap that I will update you guys on Monday. But first, I am hoping to sleep in tomorrow (send sleep vibes my way for B please).

Love and hugs!!,

Thursday, February 2, 2012

16 Weeks Does Not Equal Four Months

We go from counting days to weeks to months and it can get confusing. I mean, B, right now, you are 16 weeks old, which in my book is four months, but you're still 3.5 months old. Crazy, right. I remember counting your life in hours and in what seems like only a few short days, you are growing into your own. You have the most awesome personality and are seriously the happiest baby I have ever seen. I mean, J was happy, but he had to study the world and take it all in, but B, as soon as anyone makes eye contact with you or talks to you, you turn on the charm and smile with your whole face. It's the cutest thing and you have actually started making faces now that make me laugh and don't make it so bad when you have a horrible night of sleep like last night. The crazy faces make the midnight, 4am and 6am wake ups a little more bearable...but let's not make that a habit, okay? Thanks!

All is well on the homefront and J is doing well in school. I was told by his teacher that he only missed two questions on his kindergarten readiness assessment test...TWO! And get this, those questions were meant for 2nd grade comprehension. Smart boy--we are so proud!!!! J doesn't know it yet, but this weekend will be his debut into team sports. Well, he's been taking swim lessons since before he could walk and is a little fish now and he's on the bowling team at school, but that's not the same. So J is the newest memeber of the Countryside Little League Rockies. I am so excited as I know he will love it. We will go to pick up his gear after school today! Pictures and videos to come soon, I am sure it'll be comedy.

That's all for now. I am glad this week is winding down, still lots to be done, but taking it all in stride :)

Tuesday, January 31, 2012


Trying to make my blog all fancy yall. The computer isn't really working with me right now, so please be patient while I figure this out :)

Monday, January 30, 2012

What's in a Blog?

Just some thoughts in my head over the last few days concerning this blog (and others like it)

I started this blog to document our days as a family welcoming our new addition, baby B. I initially had the intent of writing about all things baby including his milestones and overall cuteness and to document J's journey as a preschooler. For those who have "followed" me or know me IRL, you know that when J was born, I had a baby site that I updated daily. That was about four, almost five years ago and blogs weren't as widespread and weren't free. But I did a good job at it. It allowed me to share our special moments and pictures with my family and friends far and wide. At the end of two years and tons of updates, I retired the babysite. Before I did that, I managed to print out all the updates and the growth chart that kept track of J for those 24 some odd months. I have saved those posts in PDF form and also have them printed out. I think that's better than any baby book, though the pages are now secured in his book. Anyhow, before I digress too far, I want these pages to be cherished by B just as much. I know it's not a babysite, per se, but it's still about our journey with him. So at the end of the run of this blog, when I feel it is appropriate, I will retire this blog as well and print out the contents for him to have as he grows up. I am hopeful that the mirror it provides for him will be one of great memories and love. So while it's not a chronicle only about B or his milestones, it will be all about him. Does that make sense? At the same time, I am hopeful that J will find these words just as fitting for him as we discuss the growth and development of his life as an awesome little boy.

So what's in this blog? I hope a lot...a lot of love, a lot of life and lot of laughter...for B, for J, for Big J, for my mom, my brother and myself. It's all those things and so much more.

Words from my heart...

Friday, January 27, 2012

Fill-In-The-Blanks Friday

1. My favorite place I've ever traveled to is Athens, Greece. I had an amazing time there with Amina visiting with Sarah and her hubby Mike. The site, the sounds, the FOOD and the people were all amazing. Not to mention the night life...and beach life when we toured the island of Mykonos. And the historical significance wasn't too bad either, a wonderful trip of a lifetime!

2. Egypt is somewhere I'd love to go someday. I want it to be safe first though...but I'd love to see the great pyramids in person one day.

3. I pass the time on a plane (or bus, or car ride or train) by reading or playing on my iPad. Between that and caring for the boys, the time goes by pretty quickly.

4. My three must-haves when I travel are my phone, my ipad and my boys.

5. My favorite travel companion is well, more than one...I love traveling with J and B and making sure they are exposed and see different places and cultures (even though they are probably too young right now to remember it all)

6. The craziest thing that ever happened to me while traveling was hmmmm, I have no idea...A few missed flights here and there, crazy lines at customs, random celebrity sitings. Nothing that excitingly crazy.

7. The most exotic food I've ever tried while traveling was probably something in Greece. Though I love shrimp, when they brought out the platter of shrimp with their full faces and eyeballs on, I had to do a double take. But hey, it was tasty!

8. If I could live anywhere else, I'd in New Orleans, love the food and the culture!

9. I have been to probably around 20 states in the U.S. I need to count one day.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Circle of Life

Today I am reminded about how fragile life is and how sometimes it just doesn't make any sense. I have talked before about loosing my father almost two years ago and some days I still can't come to grips with that. Then yesterday, one of my best friends suddenly lost her dad too. Just like that, life is changed for her forever and it will never be the same. My heart aches for her, but more than that, it aches for her two young daughters. Some days, the hardest part of loosing my dad is that J misses his Pawpaw and that B will never know him. That rips my heart out. And then I just know that my dad would love nothing more than to sit in his recliner and talk to B for hours on end. Yep, B would be spoiled by him beyond measure. But alas, he was cheated of that opportunity and it sucks. I know all the "PC" things that my dad is here with us, he's watching over us and all that, but it's not the same and it doesn't make me feel better. Just like for my friend...there's no words that can ease what she's going through and nothing that makes it okay. I know that all too well. So that can leave you asking what's the point of it all. And really, all we can do is live the best that we can and love each other to the fullest. My dad and her dad were among the best men around. I was blessed to have my dad and blessed to have her dad in my life as well. I just wish we had more time...especially more time for our children to know and cherish these men as much as we do!

Here's the article about her dad

And a quick google search of my dad only gives you a glimpse of the great man he was. (SN: he is the "Jr." my brother is the other great man in some of the articles)

Man, my heart is sick right now :(

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Balance of it All

Some days I struggle to find balance in everything. Especially now that I am back at work, I find it increasingly more and more interesting to walk the line between doing it all and realizing that I can't do it all. Last night as I was cooking dinner with one hand, had B in tow in the other arm, picked up a towel off the floor with my foot and got J dinner from the microwave with my teeth (yall didn't know I was that talented, right), I just had to stop and laugh at myself. Overachiever at heart I guess. So I had to take a moment, assess the situation and talk to myself. Self, you can't do all this at once and continue to be fully present (my resolution yall). So I quit...I took dinner from the oven and moved it to the refrigerator. I grabbed a snack for myself since J was more than happy with his noodles and sandwich (his nightly request for dinner) and I SAT DOWN...Though only for ten minutes, I took a break. Then of course, the madness that is our bath and bedtime ritual ensued, but still I took a break to breathe and collect myself. And that breather was good for me and for the boys. I don't want to be the mom who rushes through the day checking items off the list just to get done and move on to the next thing. I find myself hurrying J along to move faster, do things quicker and in his own way, he's just trying to go through the process and he should have the freedom to do that. I shouldn't have to make him move faster or encourage B to drink his bottle quicker so I can move on to the next thing. I just need to take a deep breath, even if that means I start dinner tonight with half cooked food from'll still be good when we get to it!

So we enjoyed the rest of our night. Bath time with the boys is one of my favorite times. J shares the tub with B and I put B's baby tub across the big tub. So while J is in the big tub, B is in his baby tub that spans the with of the tub (I'll have to post a pic one day so yall understand what I am saying). Anyhow, it works. It gives the brothers time to bond and enjoy some quiet time together and it let's me get them both in and out at once. I know I said B loves his baths, but yall, he LOVES his baths. He kicks and slides all around the tub and it's just funny. It reminds me of when J was little except that J was a kicking machine. Once he learned that he could splash, J would have water EVERYWHERE...he even managed to get my hair wet. B hasn't gotten to that point yet, thank goodness.

Today was spring and class pic day for J. I hope he smiles big time. We have so many pics of the kid...what do I need with more? I can't resist! And even B has more pics that a normal person would in a lifetime. Memories...

Well, I think that's it for today. Taking a deep breath and tackling the rest of the day!

Monday, January 23, 2012

We Love Kurlylicious

Hop on over to my friend's blog to check out some pics from her trip to our area.

We had a great time visiting with her and hope she comes back REALLY soon, for good (LOL).

The boys make their blog appearance on her blog


Click the link and enjoy :)

For the Kids?

Hello all. We hope you had a great's back to reality for us and we are on the grind...Monday=Fun Day...YEAH RIGHT!

Anyhow, our weekend was great, filled with family time. It's a rare occurrence that big J has both Saturday and Sunday off, so we all hung out.

Saturday, we went to the Gasparilla children's parade. It's the area's version of Mardi Gras so to speak, though we know that it doesn't even come close. Anyhow, the boys had a good time. J got some great throws and even caught a football from one of the floats. He was more excited about his corn dog and cotton candy though. B took in all the action before falling asleep in his favorite place, the baby Bjorn (thank God for that thing).

One thing that struck me about the parade though I will never understand. As J was trying to get a closer look at the floats and the action, several "adults" were telling him to go to the back since they had been there since 9am to reserve a spot at the parade. Um, really, excuse me!!!??!?!? So when did I miss the memo that a child can't stand in an open spot on the grass at a parade as an observer? WTH? In an effort to keep the peace, we walked away and moved several times since those who came and decided to get boozed up all day before the "kids'" fun were too blitz to realize the stupidity in their actions. I am thankful that my sons know the value in people and the value in fun. J doesn't let much bother him at all and I am thankful for that. So despite that foolishness, we had a good outing. Those folks were just lucky that things remained civil. After a warning from law enforcement in their direction, it was amazing how things calmed down...

Yesterday was another day to lament the Saints loss as I know they would have made it to the super bowl...oh well, next year boys...

We've got a couple of things shaking on the horizon that I hope to blog about in the very near future. Just keep your fingers crossed for us as we continue to make moves and navigate the world of parenthood.

Now that my qui is balanced and I am back in my zen mood (thanks Christina), let me get back to work...Chat with you guys later. Feel free to leave me a comment to let me know you're out there in cyberspace :)

Friday, January 20, 2012

Good Morning...In the Afternoon

Okay, so it only took me six hours since this am to finally have this video post. The point of it was to say good morning, but now, hey good morning--good afternoon--good night--and good weekend.

We shall talk to you next week :)

Enjoy the video. My lil man is so proud of his song!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Getting my feet wet?

Yeah, well, not so much here...try jumping in with all my clothes on at the deep end of the pool...That's the analogy for how it's been getting back to work. I guess the idealistic part of me thought that I would have a few days to unpack these (numerous) boxes left over from fall events, clean my desk, sort through (too many) emails and return voicemails for a few days before the madness resumed, but yeah, not so much. Not at all...not even a little bit. I guess the work never stopped while I was gone and I appreciate all the support I received while I was out. My co-workers covered my events well and everything got done, so for that, I am grateful. But DAMN, do I have to be innundated with so many conference calls right now? Okay, so I know the budget reforecast is due, but I can't remember if I brushed my GD teeth this morning, so how do you expect me to know why I budgeted for office supplies the way that I did? Hell, that was back in July...Geez...I guess I should insert the qualifier here about ranting about work when I should be thankful for having a job and all that other BS. Of course, I am grateful for the job and for the three and a half months away that it allowed me to spend with my family...but yeah, so I guess I just wanted to come back and maintain a little of my sanity by dipping one toe in the pool at a time. Oh well.

At least the boys are doing well and adjusting fine. J hasn't missed a beat in school and since yall have sent tips and commenced to praying for him, the boy has only had positive reports in school #prayerworks! B is being loved on during the day and I am getting awesome text messages and pictures throughout the day that put me at ease a bit. Yes, just a bit, yall know moms always worry regardless. I am thankful that I don't have to work and worry (too much) about them. I don't know how I would handle that.

So yeah, that's where I am today. Lunch meeting and more conference calls on tap. Yay me! (sarcasm yall...)

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Don't you hate when you can't remember things??? Well, ideas for my blog posts hit me at random times during the day (SN: gotta start taking notes). I had my post for today all mapped out and alas, at the computer and can't for the life of me remember what I was going to write...Oh well...I guess this'll just be a quick hit until I remember.

B did well at the sitter/my friend's house yesterday on day one. He was a good baby and they agreed to have him back :). From all reports, he was pleasant for them and only got a little fussy when he was sleeping. He had so much fun that he celebrated by taking a three hour nap when we got home! Whew....So despite the fact that I wanted to get some mom time in with my little one, I did enjoy his sleeping so I could wash, clean and cook dinner. We got lots and lots of baby snuggles when he woke up, took his bath and played before bed.

And J is officially trying to be a true big boy. He waited in the car circle at school yesterday with my friend's daughter and got picked up and went home with them. We usually go to his classroom to pick him up before school is dismissed...Oh my baby! Next, he will be riding the bus (which he would LOVE if mommy let him do, NO--well, not yet)...

So that's it for now. Off to list some stuff on Craig's List and do some work.

Later dolls and dudes :)

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Back At It

...And I don't really know how to feel...So yes, today is day one back at work. It seems like it's been a long and short three+ months at home with my three guys. I never thought I could be the stay-at-home mom type and I still don't, so I guess I am conflicted.

I don't really want to be here. I miss the days when I used to LOVE my job...When I looked forward to coming into the office every day and making an impact...Now, it's more like I go through the motions (still doing a great job along the way) just to get my paycheck. The job is more a means to an end right now rather than something I enjoy doing. So part of me doesn't feel like it's worth it to be away from my baby and being at home doing my best to keep the household in order for all three of my boys. Should I feel guilty about that?

Then the rational side of me tells me that I need to have a paycheck and by being here, I am taking care of them more than anything else. Don't get me wrong--the adult interaction and use of my brain is welcomed, but yeah, I am over it already (SN: I have only been here for 17 minutes...long day ahead). So to get started, this week, I am only here for two days this week and then from there, I will be in the office three days a week. I get a ton done in my limited time, probably more than all my co-workers, so I am not worried about my work suffering...I am more focused on my family.

I am very lucky to have found some wonderful sitters for J when he was younger (thanks Cheryl and Carisa). I can't imagine having the in daycare when they are so young. And I am lucky that baby B is in the capable hands of my friend/hairdresser and her husband while I am away. They have three adorable little girls (ages 7, 4 and 17 months), so they are experts in my book. So if you know me, you know that I can be very Type A, so yeah, we went over to their house over the weekend to put B's set up together. I brought over a pack-and-play and a swing and a plastic tub with all his essentials so that we only have to bring the baby and bottles every day. And yeah, as only I can do, I had my two pages of typed out notes for him as well as a baby journal so they can fill out notes about his day (ie when did he eat and how much? How many soiled diapers? Overall mood, etc). So thankfully they didn't get offended and laughed it off, but yeah, um, I hope they fill it out, LOL.

Okay, so back to this line up of conference calls today...Welcome back to me, right...

Saturday, January 14, 2012

On Getting Out

Sometimes it's hard being far away from home yall. All the people we know and love and our closest friends are at least 8 hours away by car. Thankfully, we get home to visit or have folks come to see us every so often. That keeps me sane until the times when I can reconnect with those who truly know me...I think we underestimate how important that connection is sometimes.

Anyhow, I have a habit of even staying in and not doing much outside of our normal activities (and the mall...and the beach during the spring and summer) and not discovering the stuff around us. I make no apologies in saying that this place isn't among my favorite places to live and we are looking for a one way ticket to have our family relocate, but in the meantime, I am trying to have a different perspective about it all.

Now granted, it is HARD to up and get out with a preschooler and an infant. I mean, some days, I do all I can do just to get them dressed and make it out the door.

Where am I going with all this?

Well, one of my beautiful friends was in town for work. Rarely do people remember we are here and reach out to us when they are in the area, so I was blessed to hear from her. And when I say she got out and taught me some things about MY city...How awesome. I know she would probably say that I talked too much (sorry, girl, just hard when you don't have adult interaction that much) but she put up with me and we had a great time doing one of my favorite at the outlet mall :). The boys were actually good for the most part and baby B did much better with the car ride (with only a short bout of crying on the way back--did I mention that I have mastered driving with one hand while reaching in the back seat and feeding him his bottle with the other???). I won't mention that I have been in the area for three years and have never been to said outlet mall (shame on me)...Anyhow, we had a great visit and it was just good to be in the company of someone with whom I have a connection. We share a lot in that both of our fathers passed away within a few months of each other, so we know that pain and isolation like few others do (#daddy'sgirlsunite)...So thank you friend...For thinking of us...For loving on my boys...For the SHOPPING...For the great conversation...For listening...For understanding...For reminding me that I have to get out and keep moving!

We have a long weekend ahead of us...So we will GET out and do something else fun :). Enjoy your weekends. We love yall!~

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Big Number 3! .... UPDATED

Hey baby boy! You are three months old today!!!! We celebrated in grand style, by putting on your onesie with the "three month" sticker and having a photo shoot. Hopefully one day, you'll look back on all these pictures and marvel at your growth the same way we do each day when we look at you! So what have you been up to these days:

-You don't have an official doctor's appointment this month, so I don't have the official stats, but I think you are around 16 pounds right now. I am going to get you weighed and check you length in the next few day. Regardless of the specifics, you are a big, healthy baby.

-You are getting so very strong. You can hold your head up with the best of em and when you are laying down on your stomach, you can push up fully and look around. You scared me last night when I felt someone looking at me and realized you were peering over the side of your bassinet :)...Speaking of the bassinet, you are almost at the weight limit for it so you may be moving to the big crib soon!

-You are extremely social and I love it. You hold conversations with us and try so hard to get words out. Your little sounds are the best in the world and you respond just like you know exactly what you are trying to say.

-You light up when Joshua comes into the room. You love to see your big brother in action. Now that you are more aware and "talking" to him, Joshua loves all over you. He entertains you in the car and loves to be a helper for you, doing anything from putting your pacifier in your mouth to helping close diapers.

-Bath time still is one of your most favorite times of the day. You laugh and talk and laugh more. Just recently, you realized that if you move your feet, the water splashes up, so you are just a kicking and splashing until you get out the tub.

-You have also discovered your hands. You try your hardest to get your thumb in your mouth all the time. When you can't quite make it in there, you'll settle for putting your entire hand in your mouth and just sucking away. You love playing with your fingers.

-You are eating six ounces of formula every three hours. We tried a few times with rice cereal, but your little tummy doesn't yet like it, so we are sticking to milk. You drink your whole bottle (we just switched from the "baby" bottles to Tommee Tippie bottles and you like them okay) and burp like a champ!

-And wow baby boy, you waited until the eve of your three month birthday to SLEEP. Last night, you went down around 10:30pm and woke up at 4am, ate and went right back to sleep until 8:30am. Yay Brayden :). So mom only had to wake up once and it felt good. Of course, I kept checking on you all night to make sure you were okay, but you slept very well. Let's make sure this is a new pattern, okay? Thanks!

-All the newborn clothes are gone, over and done with. You are now in 3-6 month clothes. You have the cutest little shoes that I can't wait to get you in. Right now, you aren't really a fan of shoes, but you'll get there :)

I think that's about it. We'll transition to mom going back to work here shortly. I know you'll adjust just fine as you are the most easy-going, calm baby (except when you're hungry or sleepy). You love people and they love you! Of course, mom will miss you every second, but I am thankful to have all this time at home to snuggle with you all day and all night. We all love you to pieces.

Happy 3 months B!

***UPDATED*** My unofficial weigh-in for B suggests that he is 18 pounds now!!!! Holy batman boy! I am gonna say that maybe it's a little off, but um, yeah, he is "Beefy" as his Uncle Trey calls him :)

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Waiting Room Chatter

Over the past few days, I have found myself in medical waiting rooms for one reason (B or J) or another. As always, I am observing my surroundings, keeping watch on my boys and listening to the communication around me at the same time. Well, today for some reason was different. I wanted to just yell SHUT UP as the same tired chorus of stay-at-home mom chatter was going on around me. (before I go any further, PLEASE do not take this as a negative post about those blessed to stay home with their kids, I admire yall)...Okay, back to my thoughts. As I was listening to the ramblings about who ate what and how many unwanted pounds they had all packed on, I just couldn't relate to them. I mean, well, yes, I am a mom, I have two great boys, I have unwanted pounds, etc, so on the surface, we have a lot in common, but deep down, yeah, well, there must have been something more. And I am not sure what that something is...

As these ladies exchanged labor and delivery stories, I could have chimed in. The thoughts in my head were reeling but the words left me rendered as mute. I just wanted it to stop. It seems as though each person was trying to one up each other, like each person wanted to make their story of labor tougher, their children brighter, their motherhood badge of honor more worthy...and I couldn't take it. I know we each have our journeys that are filled with peaks and valleys. We each have things to be thankful for and things we wish had worked out differently. Yet somehow, sitting among the mindless talk of strangers, I just wanted to transcend the conversations and get the hell out of dodge. So I did what I do--I zoned out and started some personal reflection...

Yes, my boys are the greatest ever. Yes, my c-section was something to contend with. Yes, breastfeeding and engorgement sucked big balls for me. Yes, I work my ass off at home to do what needs to be done...and yes, I could relate to those stories being tossed about with an indiffernt type of pride...and yes, I ignored the talk and really, I could have cared less...