Still Here

Sorry for the lack of blogging lately.

There's a ton going on that I can't wait to let you in on.

I know I am keeping you in suspense with the details, but let's just say that we have a lot of transitions on the horizon that are taking up a great deal of time.

I promise to get back to regular updates in the next few days!

The boys are doing well and handling our changes better than I am :)

I Know It's Late, But...

Had to share the chunkies...



That's a whole lotta lovin :)

ABC's of Me :)

A. Age: 33

B. Bed Size: king

C. Chore you Dislike: DISHES!

D. Dogs: No thanks!

E. Essential to Start the Day: Hmmmm, prayer...

F. Favorite Color: pink

G. Gold or Silver: silver

H. Height: 5'7.5"

I. Instruments you Play(ed): clarinet

J. Job Title: executive director

K. Kids: 4 year old J and 5 monyh old B

L. Live: Florida

M. Mom's name: Cynthia

N. Nicknames: Nik

O. Overnight hospital stays: a few here and there

P. Pet peeves: crunching ice

Q. Quote from a movie:

R. Righty or Lefty: righty

S. Siblings: a brother, TG

T. Time you wake up: 7:45am

U. Underwear: as long as they are comfy, I don't care...

W. What makes you run late: anything...I am usually late

X. Xrays you've had: ankle, tailbone, uterus (HSG), dental, knee, etc

Y. Yummy food you make: strawberry cake, shrimp pasta

Z. Zoo animal you love: none...don't like the zoo

Mommy of Brown Boys

No words needed...Well, maybe one...Justice...that is all!

This Ish Isn't For Me

That was the line I was awakened with at 3am. And it was comical! B, you and dad have been having sleepovers together for the past two nights so mom can get a good night's rest in the guest room. You are still at the point where you are waking up every three hours to eat, and sometimes that's every two hours depending on your moods. So um, yeah, you have been hanging out with dad at night. The first night, you guys did great and after a mom rescue feeding around midnight and suctioning to your nose, I slept until 7am. Well, last night, between your waking up every two hours to eat and J sleepwalking and waking dad up three times before 3am, dad decided he had enough. So in you came at 3am smiling with all your gums out as dad handed you over to me with his proclimation that "this *$(% isn't for me." Why what do you mean big J? This is what happens EVERY night and you can't make it TWO nights? Come on man (quoting Sunday Night Countdown)...Welp, since I had been sleeping peacefully for four hours at that point, I gladly took you for a feeding and some snuggle time before we both went to sleep until 7am. But yeah, dad, this is what happens at night when you usually sleep through it.

Baby B--1; Dad--ZERO!!!!

Rules of Reality

If you've seen the news lately, you have no doubt heard of the case of a little black boy who was gunned down by a "neighborhood watch" leader for no reason at all other than a perception of suspicion. If that weren't enough, the man who gunned down the little boy has not even been arrested. Where's the value in human life? Where's the justice for that little boy and his family? Police are saying that there isn't enough evidence to arrest the man, but after hearing the 911 tapes that have surfaced and the accounts of the witnesses, I have to question that. My heart goes out to the family of Trayvon Martin, who by all accounts was a good kid...and who definitely didn't deserve to die in that manner.

This case has brought to light some of the harsh realities of parenting black boys. Of of my mentors who is an amazing example of a wife and mother penned a post that says it better than I could. Here's an excerpt:

I mean......does anyone care about Trayvon Martin? Or about what it means to any African American parent when horrors such as this one occur????? As I reflect on how many times I have to tell my African American son to take his hoodie off lest someone white "get scared" or "think the wrong thing"???? Tired of this shit! Tired of always having to take the offensive every damn day.......every time there's a burglary or crime in my neighborhood, folks looking at my son and my husband as if they may be the one! This is the problem! And got the same shit in all the gated communities we've lived in too....all over the country! How am I supposed to believe in this society and trust that all is OK when my African American son could be next on the list. This is deep folks. It really is. The mindset out there from the majority of folks is terrifying. I feel like I'm living in the 50's - having to issue warnings to my children every damn day - don't go here, don't wear this, take the hood off.................even though their white counterparts don't have to understand these same codes. They're free to be kids! Had to get on my son for essentially walking through a store with his hands in his pockets. Mind you, he was doing nothing wrong, and he seems to just feel comfortable with hands in pocket......but I am looking at what THEY might think when they see the hands in pockets. A thief? A gun? Every damn day!!!! Just like I must prove that I'm really in Nordstrom to shop and truly purchase something....not lift it!!!!!!!! WTF! It breaks my heart every day when I realize just how it is, and ain't never changed. Black folks, please teach your kids. They need to know how treacherous some of these folks can be! They need to understand what they must face, what they must to do survive, even if it isn't fair. LIke, maybe they can't walk to the convenience store, maybe they can't go out to buy some Skittles and ides tea like Trayvon Martin, not like white kids can !!!!!! Sorry for the rant, but I am really reeling and, I suspect, most of Black America is too....unless we're too caught up in watching stupid ass reality shows or Basketball games to care or even know what time it is!!!!!!!!!

Very harsh reality right now to face as the mommy of two brown boys. In our age where they now see a black president and hopefully understand that they can achieve all of their dreams, I just pray that they grow up with a more tolerant society that believes in them as much as we do...

Lord help us!

The Mommy Paradox

We want to hold on, but we want to let go. We want to see the next milestone, but we want time to stand still. We want to soothe you, but we want you to learn to be independent. We want to protect you from all hurt, but we want you to learn from life's difficulties. We want to keep you by our sides forever, but we want you to grow wings and fly.

Just a few things sticking out in my head this morning as I think about my boys. B is becoming such a little man right before my eyes, yet it still seems like he should be a little newborn. It is amazing how many changes babies go through during the first year. I posted B's 5 months update a few days ago (scroll down), but yeah, he's just amazing. I look at him and I just can't put into words what I feel. I guess I could go on and on with the oxymorons that seem to apply, but yeah, it's bitter sweet to see him continuing to grow and thrive. Of course, I am overjoyed with each new discovery or development and I think with excitement about the day when he figures out how to crawl, walk and say mamma. (BTW, he's babbling da-da now first...boo, LOL). But B, can you just snuggle with mom a little longer please? Your big brother is far too independent to do so and yeah, the coolness of mom gets replaced quickly by the "boys" hanging together with dad. And um, so yep, they even have their own little special sign that they do that I can't be a part of. Woe is me :)

***Moving on***

It's another Monday around these parts and I am tired! We had a great weekend in Miami with the family and B got to put his toes in the swimming pool for the first time. It was a little chilly, so he didn't get to fully enjoy, but J--ie the fish, certainly got his fill of swimming. In addition, we got to hang out on South Beach and took in a Miami Heat game. How awesome to see J chanting and cheering with all the fans. He had a ball! Alas, back to reality today...

Pictures to come soon!