Been a Long Time

So I have a million blog posts running around in my head, but no motivation to write them...B, I hope you don't hold it agains me when you get older, as I still want to leave you a complete chronicle of your first year. That said, I have more than a few updates that I hope to at least get out over the next week or so.

B's 8 month updates are coming first, followed by an update on our move and new house and our transition to our current time and space.

All is going very well though and I am just constantly amazed at these two little boys. I won't mention the COMPLETE meltdown that J had literally ALL DAY yesterday though. Let's just leave that in the past.

So I guess the whole father's day thing has brought me to blog today. I can't stomach facebook right now with all my friends posting the obligatory picture of their dad while taking some time to publically extoll praises. Yeah, I get it. I just sit and wonder how many realize and cherish what a gift their fathers are. I just really want to be able to hug my dad or pick up the phone to hear his voice. And now that we are in the same city, I would give anything to have him in my life and teaching my boys all the stuff he knows. I would have loved more than anything for him to see, hold and love baby B like only he would. But I won't get that chance and for lack of a better way to explain it, it just plain sucks. Two plus years later, I still don't understand why he's not here. I still have a hard time accepting his death and I still find myself mixed with anger and sadness daily. Uhhhhh! I am thankful for friends like Amina and Kristy who traveled this path before me, LaShara who walks with me and Katoiya as she's going through all the "firsts" without her dad. I just find it so tough to celebrate life sometimes when I'm still in the midst of mourning.

At the same time, I put on a happy face today and try to keep the tears at bay. After all, I do celebrate big J and the dad he is to my boys. I appreciate what he is to me and to them. He does an amazing job with the boys and steps up more than most. One look at the boys and their interaction with him and you know that he's their hero. Though I could do with a little less wrestling in the house, I know that he's perfect for them :)

So I guess I'm back to blogging so to speak. Let me see if I can get things going this week.

Thanks for hanging in there with me!

Two Special Days

B, yesterday you turned 7 months old! Bitter sweet cause now you are closer to a year old than you are to a newborn. Of course, it continues to be amazing watching you grow and come into your own.

Today, we celebrate mother's day...my fifth as a mother and first as a mother of two. On this day, I am reminded on how blessed I am, how amazing it is to watch both of my boys grow and thrive. The sleepless nights and sometimes stressful days...I wouldn't trade them for anything. I am more than blessed to be called your mommy!

As for B, here are some updates on your 7th month:

-Your personality is starting to show big time. You are still a charmer and will laugh and smile, your smile lights up the room. But if you are not impressed by something, around strangers or just trying to figure something out, you remain stoic and puzzled. It's cute though.

-You have two teeth on the bottom and I think one is trying to cut through on the top.

-You can now get up on all fours and rock back and forth. You want to just take off so badly, but you haven't put it all together yet. Selfishly, I am enjoying your non-mobile stage, so I am not in a rush for you to crawl or walk...But you, well, you want to follow your brother and play with him, so I know you'd rather figure it out sooner rather than later.

-You are still eating stage 2 organic baby food items. Your favorites include oatmeal and rice cereal, carrots and anything flavored with fruit. You do not like green beans, but you will eat peas every now and again. But you are not eating and sampling table food. You want a taste of whatever it is when someone is eating around you. You enjoy pieces of bread, french fries and had your first ritz cracker a few days ago. You will suck and chew on organic teething biscuits and organic puffs as well. You just like the idea of eating what we are eating. Dad even let you taste a little lemonade...you loved that, but we aren't making that a normal occurance just yet :)

-Sleep, well, no progress there. You are still waking up several times a night. You eat and go back to bed, so it's not that bad, but yeah, I am tired. I feel like I have tried everything in the book short of letting you scream your head off, and it doesn't seem to be working. Just wondering when you'll turn the corner with this sleep thing.

-Your hair is growing in big time. It's getting long and thick. It's still straight in the front and you can see little curls in the back. Cute!

-You have found your voice and now you know when to express displeasure. If we take something from you that you are into, you will scream at us and start to cry. Conversely, when you are happy, you coo and talk lovingly to us.

-No updates right now for your weight and height, though I don't think you've sprouted that much over the past four weeks.

-And btw, much to dad's displeasure, you waited until yesterday to have your first blow out on his shirt and pants...we were at one of our favorite restaurants and let's just say operation clean the poop was in full effect. yuck!

So I think that's it for now. I am sure I have missed something. I will update more later.

Happy mother's day to the one who taught me what being a mother was all about. I love you mommy! I can only hope to be half the mother you are :)

My Kinda Day

Today is the first Saturday in a LONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG time where we could just relax and go with the flow. And when I say "LONG" I mean in ages, since probably before B arrived. And thanks to the help and love, I actually managed to get back to sleep after my early wake up call and sleep until 10am! After that, I ate, relaxed (see the theme here?), took a long bath and got right back in my most comfy, favorite spot. I just love days like today. B is sleeping by my side. J is being spoiled by Mimi and all is right with the world at this moment. Let me take a minute to inhale and exhale.... Okay, I'm back. Aside from that, things are going okay. B, you are still in this crazy sleep pattern that we can't seem to break. I think even you realize that waking up to eat just isn't the business anymore because you hardly every even want to finish your bottles. But you go down between 8pm and 9pm, wake up around midnight to eat, then you are up again anytime between 2:30am and 3am to eat again. Then you are usually up for the day around 6am, maybe 7am if we're lucky. We've tried just about everything, but you aren't fussy, so I think you just like the attention and the nurturing. I'm giving you a few more weeks cause once we get settled in the new house, hopefully your crib and new room will be the magic touch! (BTW, where the heck is the spell check on the new blogger) As I posted earlier, your second tooth is in and that one came in without too much fuss or incident. You can barely see them peeking from your gums, but they are so cute. We took a trip to Whole Foods yesterday to get you some puffs and teething biscuits to chew on and you seem to like them. I am in the process of expanding your foods as well. You are super interested in eating and if someone is eating around you, you beg for a taste. I was making most of your food, but with the move, we've been relying on some organics to hold us over. And you enjoy them just fine, especially carrots and apples. I got you some blends yesterday that we'll try this week. Some of them, I just can't get over though, I mean, who the hell would want to eat spinich, apples and sweet potatoes in one sitting? Um, gross! So anyhow, we will see how you like the more pleasant blends. Okay, well, I guess I will get back to relaxing and doing nothing (sounds DIVINE doesn't it). It's back to the busy life soon enough...Gotta prep to go to a friend's 5th birthday party tomorrow :) Happy weekend everyone!

And Another :)

B, your second tooth popped out today. You can barely see it, but it's there. The both of your little bottom chompers are so cute. And you love putting them to practice...you have been enjoying your puffs and your most recent love--organic cheerios. I keep trying to take pictures of them so I can add them to your collection, but you keep your tongue over your teeth every time you see the camera. One day I will catch you! BTW, I HATE the new blogger set up and change. Would have been nice if they gave us some notice of the pending changes. I can't figure anything out :(

We're on the Move

So excited to (finally) report that we have a home. Don't get me wrong, it's been great staying with Mimi and having constant help with the boys, but I am ready to have MY things in MY house and to get the boys back to reality...something about being in the home of Mimi that isn't quite reality. We can't always have what we want all the time, but hey, grandmas are meant to spoil them anyhow, right? Let's just hope the boys (or mom) don't go into shock when we move... So if all goes well, in a month and three days, we will close on the house and start the fun work of moving... Yay :)

No Longer Cool

B, I don't know when it happened, but at some point over the past week or so, I am no longer the cool #1 mom in your life. Sure, I know you love me and you still let me indulge in cuddle time daily, but in a sense you have realized that I am not the center of your universe. And it sucks. I am only (slightly) a little okay with it since your dad seems to be the light of your life. You absolutely light up when you realize that he's around and when he enters the room. You try to wiggle and squirm out of my arms until you get his attention enough to get to him. And once he picks you up--let the dancing commence. You literally jump for joy, smile, giggle and dance as he tosses you to and fro. It is pretty cool to see (though I really hate to admit it). Okay, so I was fine sharing the attention with your big brother as he has captured your heart and attention since day one, but geez, I am still cooler than dad, right? Dad keeps telling me that I am fighting a loosing battle. I guess I am reminded that the three of yall will have a bond that I won't share in. And I am okay with that. I am glad the boys have each other and that yall can openly love each other and enjoy spending time with each other. I will be here to do all the mommy stuff and to love every minute of it...even if that means occasionally moving to #2 in your book (we secretly both know that I will ALWAYS be #1 to all of you :). Anyhow, all continues to go well with our transition. Both of you boys are falling into line and we are establishing a routine. More than ever, I am just grateful to be near to family and friends and the love and support. I have missed that over the past 11 years! And I am glad that my boys are getting the opportunity to be loved by their extended family first-hand. We did our best with phone and skype, but nothing beats being here in person. Cherishing the moments...

6 Months Old...Edited with correct height

(Just act like I posted this on April 12th :)

Baby B, you are now 6 months old...I guess that means I can't technically call you a baby anymore. You are growing and changing every day right before our eyes. I pulled out a few pictures of you to decorate my new work space and wow, it seems like you were just a tiny newborn curling on my chest. Now you are a big boy who keeps us all smiling.

Your personality is starting to show. You are lovable and as sweet as can be. You love attention and are happy when you are playing and observing your brother. You also like your quiet time to just sit and absorb the world around you. I think your dad calls that "processing" and just like him, you process when you are in a new environment or around new people. You are extremely vocal and talk and talk and talk. It's actually pretty funny. You hold conversations with us and the tone and inflection in your voice change along with your facial expressions.

As for the milestones, you can sit up on your own for a little bit, but we still have to prop you up if you are going to stay sitting for any length of time. I know that if I just put you down or quit snuggling with you so much, you'd be an expert sitter (and roller by now). Oh well, it'll come. Speaking of rolling, you can go from tummy to back and I think back to tummy, but you haven't quite put it together that if you continue moving you can actual roll somewhere. Once you put two and two together--well, let's just keep things simple while you aren't mobile for now, LOL. You haven't had any teeth to pop through yet, but if the drooling and chewing of the fingers (and hands) is any indication, you are sooooo close. I can't yet feel any teeth right under your gums though, but they are there. Recently, you even discovered that your toes can reach your mouth (yes, it's comedy as well...up until you bite down on your toe too hard and have a fit). Your latest obsessions include cell phones, remote controls and your brother's iPad. You are a technology geek already. If any of those three things are within your reach, you go to town and enjoy yourself with them more than with your own toys. And don't let us take one of those from you, you will yell and swing at us like you are upset (and yeah, um, it's cute for now, but let's not make that a habit, okay?).

In the sleep department...well, you are still winning that battle. But I have to give you props, you are showing signs of promise. After your visit to the doc (more on that below), he encouraged us to step it up with the sleep training. He said no feedings AT ALL at night, but I am not that mean. So you go down for the night between 8pm and 9pm. You wake up around midnight for your "final feeding" and since you are stuck waking up every 2.5 or 3 hours, the past few nights, you have been up around 2:30am or 3am looking for food. We put the pacifier in your mouth, pat your back and let you whine (or cry) for as long as possible. Sometimes you fall back asleep for a few hours like you are supposed to. But alas, when mom is tired and your stomach is growling, I feel guilty and I will feed you. But I do try to make you wait as long as possible. So technically, that's one time a night that you are up as you will eat and sleep until 6 or 7am. So we are making progress...slow and steady I guess.

You are eating more food and definitely let us know what you like and what you don't like. Squash was your first food and you loved it two months ago. But now, well, let's just say you cry if it hits your tongue. You do the same with green beans. So yes, none of those things for us now. But you LOVE carrots. I mean, you love them. You can't get enough. You also like sweet potatoes and peas okay. As for fruits, you now eat apples, pears and prunes. You still have rice cereal on occasion but more often you are eating oatmeal cereal now. You are up to two full meals a day and you like meal time.

Maybe that's why you're tipping the scales and off the charts ;). Though you are smaller than J was at that age, you are still over the percentile in height and weight. You are weighing in at 21 pounds 6 ounces and I think you are 23 inches tall (I need to double check that). *Well, I was off...you are 26.75 inches now*

You had your first well baby visit with a new physician last week. Ironically, he used to be one of my pediatricians when I was a kid. I was actually treated by his uncle who was my main doctor, but when my uncle wasn't available, he checked me out. How cool is that. It was great to see him again and he's an awesome doc, so I know you are in good hands. Anyhow, the doctor was pleased with your health and your progress. You escaped shots this time around since your medical records haven't arrived from your old doctor, but you did have an oral vaccine. Dad enjoyed the lollipop that you would normally receive for being a good patient (and he almost broke the doctors scale, but that's another story for another time).

So I think that's it for month 6, baby B! You are doing amazingly well and are the happiest baby in town!