Getting my feet wet?

Yeah, well, not so much here...try jumping in with all my clothes on at the deep end of the pool...That's the analogy for how it's been getting back to work. I guess the idealistic part of me thought that I would have a few days to unpack these (numerous) boxes left over from fall events, clean my desk, sort through (too many) emails and return voicemails for a few days before the madness resumed, but yeah, not so much. Not at all...not even a little bit. I guess the work never stopped while I was gone and I appreciate all the support I received while I was out. My co-workers covered my events well and everything got done, so for that, I am grateful. But DAMN, do I have to be innundated with so many conference calls right now? Okay, so I know the budget reforecast is due, but I can't remember if I brushed my GD teeth this morning, so how do you expect me to know why I budgeted for office supplies the way that I did? Hell, that was back in July...Geez...I guess I should insert the qualifier here about ranting about work when I should be thankful for having a job and all that other BS. Of course, I am grateful for the job and for the three and a half months away that it allowed me to spend with my family...but yeah, so I guess I just wanted to come back and maintain a little of my sanity by dipping one toe in the pool at a time. Oh well.

At least the boys are doing well and adjusting fine. J hasn't missed a beat in school and since yall have sent tips and commenced to praying for him, the boy has only had positive reports in school #prayerworks! B is being loved on during the day and I am getting awesome text messages and pictures throughout the day that put me at ease a bit. Yes, just a bit, yall know moms always worry regardless. I am thankful that I don't have to work and worry (too much) about them. I don't know how I would handle that.

So yeah, that's where I am today. Lunch meeting and more conference calls on tap. Yay me! (sarcasm yall...)

Back At It

...And I don't really know how to feel...So yes, today is day one back at work. It seems like it's been a long and short three+ months at home with my three guys. I never thought I could be the stay-at-home mom type and I still don't, so I guess I am conflicted.

I don't really want to be here. I miss the days when I used to LOVE my job...When I looked forward to coming into the office every day and making an impact...Now, it's more like I go through the motions (still doing a great job along the way) just to get my paycheck. The job is more a means to an end right now rather than something I enjoy doing. So part of me doesn't feel like it's worth it to be away from my baby and being at home doing my best to keep the household in order for all three of my boys. Should I feel guilty about that?

Then the rational side of me tells me that I need to have a paycheck and by being here, I am taking care of them more than anything else. Don't get me wrong--the adult interaction and use of my brain is welcomed, but yeah, I am over it already (SN: I have only been here for 17 minutes...long day ahead). So to get started, this week, I am only here for two days this week and then from there, I will be in the office three days a week. I get a ton done in my limited time, probably more than all my co-workers, so I am not worried about my work suffering...I am more focused on my family.

I am very lucky to have found some wonderful sitters for J when he was younger (thanks Cheryl and Carisa). I can't imagine having the in daycare when they are so young. And I am lucky that baby B is in the capable hands of my friend/hairdresser and her husband while I am away. They have three adorable little girls (ages 7, 4 and 17 months), so they are experts in my book. So if you know me, you know that I can be very Type A, so yeah, we went over to their house over the weekend to put B's set up together. I brought over a pack-and-play and a swing and a plastic tub with all his essentials so that we only have to bring the baby and bottles every day. And yeah, as only I can do, I had my two pages of typed out notes for him as well as a baby journal so they can fill out notes about his day (ie when did he eat and how much? How many soiled diapers? Overall mood, etc). So thankfully they didn't get offended and laughed it off, but yeah, um, I hope they fill it out, LOL.

Okay, so back to this line up of conference calls today...Welcome back to me, right...

The Countdown is On

Only a little over a week before I head back to work. I have been very lucky to be able to have over three months at home with B. It's been awesome. J was born in the smack of an event, so he learned early on what life with mom would be like. I was at an event and at work when he was two weeks old (thanks to Mimi's help). So there was not really and leave per se with him. B's arrival came in between events...after my first football game and before my basketball event and bowl game. Because of the timing and extra support, I decided to maximize my leave. So with medical leave, saved vacation time and a few unpaid days, B will be almost 15 weeks before I go back to work. I don't have to tell you how that just doesn't happen for most folks who have to get back to work immediately. So I don't take it for granted. We have great arrangements for B when I return to work that hopefully will work smoothly. I am spending this week getting prepped for the transition. Granted I will only be in the office a few days a week, but those of you who know me IRL know that I want all the details ironed out so that we are ready to roll without incident. I am also trying to figure out what B's schedule is. I think I have a good idea about it, but I have pretty much been letting him dictate his own schedule, so I am not sure how I would write it down for someone else to follow. And alas...

***B is becoming a better sleeper***

Yes, that deserved its own line, LOL. Pretty much he's down by 9:30, wakes between 12:30am and 1am to eat and is right back to sleep. For the past few days, he's stretched out that sleep period until (can you believe it?) between 6am and 7am!!! Wooo hooo :)...then he'll go back to sleep until I am ready to wake him to get J off to school. He's done that two out of the last three nights, so now, I am calling it a new pattern (let's not jinx it). So that's technically only up once a night for mom and I am loving it. Let's hope it continues (and the church said AMEN). Of course, it will be nice when he eliminates that midnight feeding, but yes, I am celebrating this as a victory!

In other news, J is doing well at school and has gotten several wonderful reports. He's amazing to say the least! We are still debating organized sports for him and will probably take the leap sometimes soon. He LOVES his bowling team and is quite the bumper bowler, LOL. We shall see what's next...

And project "fit my clothes" is officially back on! I have a new pilates instructor and a bike, so yes, I am riding a mile to class and taking that butt whipping and riding a mile back home. So far, so good...

Love yall...Have a good Monday :)